We're doing it for the fame!

Reason to be Skinny #23: It takes less booze to get drunk (cheap date)



I always want to start off these Blogs with sorry.

Sorry for not writing. Sorry for not being able to stick with a plan. etc.

But it's getting a little redundant, for all of us yes?

I'm sick of saying sorry.

So fuck ya'll (not really, cus I love you) I'm not saying sorry anymore.


I'm alone again.

Izzie and Will are 85% moved out of my place. All I've wanted is for them to leave. Not because I want to be alone (cus I really don't!) but because I want to control my eating plan again.

I've been restricting, eating only half of stuff etc. but I want to get back to counting, to the numbers. To my pre-prepared safe meals. I want to know the exact calories! That's not really possible when they're here.

Shit even my mini fridge in my room isn't safe. We started keeping excess booze in that fridge, so Will feels completely comfortable with walking into my room and opening it up. It would be weird for me to complain =/

So as they head out of town early this weekend I was excited to have a few days to myself to get shit under control. So what happens?

The first time I walk into my apartment alone last night, I binged. I know it wasn't much, but I had an entire bag of microwave popcorn that I called my "dinner".

Was going to go through all day today on 90 calories (I brought to work as lunch) but then my headphones broke and I had to go home to get new ones. Ended up eating frozen buffalo wings from my freezer. gah!

Then I actually came home from work, and that's when I had my first REAL binge. I ate vanilla ice cream, and then another bowl of vanilla ice cream. After that ate the rest of a package of roast beef lunch meat. I was full then, but the lunchmeat was salty, and I was thirsty, so I went to the fridge. That somehow ended with me having a diet coke (thank god!) and heating up an entire portion of chicken alfredo! >_<

Fuck my life. Especially since I'm going out tonight, and I was already feeling fat as FUCK today. All I can see is the mass amounts of fat and rolls that hang off of me. I am not happy =(

So below is another shitty edited photo of me. This one is from about 2 weeks ago, and is sadly the best looking picture of me. =(

Anyways, going out with some girls tonight to drink and bar hop. Shoot me now! I look like shit, and there is no way in hell I will manage to pick up any guys any time soon.

I need to go get ready and shit.... blah. I'll catch up on blogs later.

Sorry guys, I have nothing else to say.


Shit, I wasn't going to say that.

~Wendy

I just wanna be one of the girls

Reason to be Skinny #22:

Vintage clothes look cute on a small frame.


Sorry I didn't post the last two day. My brain has been kind of erratic, and so has my eating.

That's not to say that it has been bad at all! No, it's been just erratic. With no real plan.

So I know I should have because it's not Wednesday (I started that rule to keep me mostly sane) but I did a legit weigh in this morning. I won't post the results official on the page until Wednesday, but hells yeah, scale said 189.2!

Fuck you vacation! You can't still keep me down! Take that 190's! You don't own my life! =D

I've gotta go shopping today for a Barbie-Q me and the roommates are throwing tonight. I'm not cooking, so no control there, but I get to pick out the food we are grilling, and it all starts there right????

It's not of my shopping list, bit I'm going to get some Vegtables for Kabobs and stuff too! The more veggies, and the less chips the better, especially because I'll be drinking too.

But I digress....

I talked to John last night.

I think I only half assed introduced you to John before, So allow me to fix that.

John in my absolute best friend in the whole friggin world. This isn't some random claim like I've seen on here from some girls. I don't change best friends every week, it's John. It's damn near always been John. Ever since we met in high school. It's also a mutual best friendship.

You literally can't split us up, and all though we can be horrible people sometimes, we choose to be horrible people together.

We did date once BRIEFLY! (Years ago) Then it was mutually decided that THAT was a bad idea, and we moved on.

John is probably the only reason I miss living in my home state. He's still there, and I'm not.

He can also be a huge motivation for me.

Now let me set something strait first. No one makes me the way I am. I don't do what I do because of one specific person. I've said before, my life is not shit (well, not really shit at least). I do what I do because I WANT to do it. It's all about me, and no one else, got it?

That said, John does have a fascination with tiny girls. Girls he could "tear up" literally. He's also the person who at one time said to me (I was sick) "Damn being a guy. Why do I find you more adorable, the more helpless you are."

I dunno John. But thanks for actually telling me the truth instead of bullshitting me like everyone else is.

John can be an indecisive asshole sometimes. He has put some of his ex-girlfriends through hell during their breakup. He also doesn't always say what he means. Well, he does, but his wording is off. During our own breakup he once said "I'm very mentally attracted to you, but I'm not physically attracted to you." Now, I know what he MEANT to say, but we also all know what that sounds like, right?

Let's just put it this way, if I didn't know him inside and out, he would have strung me along for much longer than the other girls.

So sometimes when I'm thinking about why I want to be skinny, I think about John. I want him to want me, so that I can tell him "Fuck NO!" and see the look on his face. He'd do the same thing.

I did say we're horrible people right?

Anyways, as for talking to him, he told me that he's gonna be breaking up with his bitch of a girlfriend soon. I'm not one to normally call girls names and such, but this bitch is the one who tried to tell John that it was me or her. He still choose me, and she still stuck around. By that time her bitch switch was stuck on though, ugggggh! Plus, except for her possible perfect size 2, she's actually not that good looking. Not his normal type....


Anyways, I should get going....

Wait one more thing! About the excercise stuff. I've actually been wanting to get out and work out, but I am faced with 2 problems at the moment. 1) My room is still a mess, and 2) I seem to have got a head cold, and since I can't breath through my nose and cough a lot, that would make any decent length off arobic excercise almost impossible.

I'll get back on that as soon as I can though.

Til later, stay strong guys,

~Wendy

Cherry Cherry Boom Boom

Reason #21 to be skinny:

Because being feminine means being tiny


How many ways can I find to say fuck my life????

Weigh in this morning was 193.4lbs. My BMI is above 30 again!

I'm obese.


My life is fucked? The fat girl is never successful in life! When you think Obese chick you think of fat woman raising her kids in a trailer park! GAH!


It would appear that I will never be thin. Fuck me that I can't even stay out of the obese range. GAH!

Lunch didn't go as planned, because I broke my measuring cup. It shattered. So I had bread and nutella instead, plus the apple. Dinner was Taco Bell because my life is fucked anyways.

What am I going to do with myself????

Guess I pick up and start again.... but damn, I was 186! So close to that first goal!!!!

Back to the fucking game...

~Wendy

You and me have a disease

Reason to be Skinny #20:

Bikini Season, need I say more?


Well, I'm back, and not fucking happy =(

Things look at least a little better than they did the last time I posted.

Vacation was fun overall. I did even manage to get a tan =) But seriously it was almost 2 weeks solid of eating out for EVERY meal. We also ate at Buffets a lot because they were the "best deal". I HATE buffets, because my dad usually throws a fit if I don't eat my "money's worth".

That's not to say that I stuffed myself beyond belief or anything. Let's just say that I don't think I was even remotely hungry in the last 2 weeks. =/

Ugggg

So we get off the plan and back home, and my dad decides it would be "fun" to see how much weight he gained, then my brother follows suite. My brother doesn't like the number and walks away. Then my dad starts bugging the shit out of me to step on the scale. Now mind you the scale was in the middle of the fucking kitchen (from when we weighed out luggage before leaving). So I tell him HELL NO! and he bugs the shit out of me, and basically makes me get on this fucking scale. >=( <--- That's my angry face.

So I get on the scale and it says 198.8lbs After I have a heart attack and pick myself up off the floor, I start protesting that the scale must be off, after all my brother had a really bad number too, we should get a new scale sometime. So get this, then my dad decides that no, the scale has to be right, and has me set my suitcase on it since we knew exactly what it weighed from the airport. So then I did that, and the scale was only off by 0.2lbs

I could have slit my wrists right there.

Never before have I actually almost cried from a scale. So that would be when I wrote my last blog. Luckily by the time I woke up the next morning it was reading a more friendly 193 lbs. As of tonight it's between 194 to 195. I'll give an official weigh in tomorrow per Wednesday weigh ins.

It's not even close to being good, but at least it's not suicide worthy.

Fuck my life!

For real.

Plan for tomorrow and getting back on track.

Gonna skip breakfast. Grab some spinach and salad dressing for lunch. An apple for after work, and then I'm going shopping. Time to get some low calorie food back in my apartment. Will and Izzie are still staying for another weekish so I have to look like I'm eating (especially since Izzie actually works with me at the moment. So none of the "I ate at work" or "I ate at home" stuff =/)

After the shopping trip I'm going to clean out my room. Clean room is equal to floor space so I can work out (My gym membership expired, but I don't actually have time to GET to the gym right now, so I need to keep up with this at home.

If I get my room cleaned tomorrow, then by thursday I can start with workouts again. I think I'm going to take up running too later this summer. Something I've always wanted to do (I'm a strictly treadmill runner normally. I fucking hate hills, and there are a LOT where I live.)

So that's the plan. Now to stick to it!

Oh, and before I get gone... Welcome new followers! I was very surprised to see that my follows grew quite a bit while I was gone. 20 people! DAMN.... glad people are interested, I just thought I was rambling.

Still failing,
~Wendy

I believe the world is coming to an end

I'm not dead I swear.

Just got off a 2weekish family vacation. Good news, I'm not dead. Bad news... well let's just say that I choose to believe that the scale is lying to me because I just got off an airplane.

Anyways, gonna try and catch up on some blogs over the next few days. I still have to drive through another state to get back to my apartment. =/

Expect a real update probably around Monday.

I'm going to need some SERIOUS help when i finally admit to what the scale says =?

~Wendy

P.S. Missed you all lots! Can't wait to REALLY be back.