Give me that Filet of Fish, Give me that fish!

Not doing so well.

Never have found my way back onto the wagon. Been wanting to, but have been too complacent.

Does anyone else have that? It's like I will randomly just be FINE for a few days, not happy, but fine. Not hating anything.

but without hate, I have no motivation.......



Then there is days like today. Where someone (Will) manages to piss me off and I suddenly notice that I have food in my hand.

It confuses me that it happens too. I'm not one of those people that normally takes comfort in food. It fact, I normally don't eat at all when I'm upset.

I don't even want to see my weigh in this week.

BAck to the story though....

Will has me all confused and pissed off again. Me and Will get along fine most days but he seems to have the ability to send me to extreme mood swings and fast! He's even beating John for that ability. I'm just glad that I'm not like Izzie and dating him. At least I can escape.

But I digress, Will has me annoyed and pissed, and I find a sugar free Jell-o pudding cup in my hand (60). It's not finished. Maybe a quarter of the way.

I'm fighting the urge to finish it in one bite.......



FUCK.....

Okay, it just got put in the garbage unfinished.

I'm back on the plan starting now. Going to go drink my booze and watch a movie. I would skip the booze, but I need it to sleep.

My insomnia is back.

I feel half awake.

Where did my life go?

Why can't I love anybody?

Why am I so cold?

Why am I so fat?

...

I know the answer to the last one at least.

Because I EAT!!!!

~Wendy