I just wanna be one of the girls

Reason to be Skinny #22:

Vintage clothes look cute on a small frame.


Sorry I didn't post the last two day. My brain has been kind of erratic, and so has my eating.

That's not to say that it has been bad at all! No, it's been just erratic. With no real plan.

So I know I should have because it's not Wednesday (I started that rule to keep me mostly sane) but I did a legit weigh in this morning. I won't post the results official on the page until Wednesday, but hells yeah, scale said 189.2!

Fuck you vacation! You can't still keep me down! Take that 190's! You don't own my life! =D

I've gotta go shopping today for a Barbie-Q me and the roommates are throwing tonight. I'm not cooking, so no control there, but I get to pick out the food we are grilling, and it all starts there right????

It's not of my shopping list, bit I'm going to get some Vegtables for Kabobs and stuff too! The more veggies, and the less chips the better, especially because I'll be drinking too.

But I digress....

I talked to John last night.

I think I only half assed introduced you to John before, So allow me to fix that.

John in my absolute best friend in the whole friggin world. This isn't some random claim like I've seen on here from some girls. I don't change best friends every week, it's John. It's damn near always been John. Ever since we met in high school. It's also a mutual best friendship.

You literally can't split us up, and all though we can be horrible people sometimes, we choose to be horrible people together.

We did date once BRIEFLY! (Years ago) Then it was mutually decided that THAT was a bad idea, and we moved on.

John is probably the only reason I miss living in my home state. He's still there, and I'm not.

He can also be a huge motivation for me.

Now let me set something strait first. No one makes me the way I am. I don't do what I do because of one specific person. I've said before, my life is not shit (well, not really shit at least). I do what I do because I WANT to do it. It's all about me, and no one else, got it?

That said, John does have a fascination with tiny girls. Girls he could "tear up" literally. He's also the person who at one time said to me (I was sick) "Damn being a guy. Why do I find you more adorable, the more helpless you are."

I dunno John. But thanks for actually telling me the truth instead of bullshitting me like everyone else is.

John can be an indecisive asshole sometimes. He has put some of his ex-girlfriends through hell during their breakup. He also doesn't always say what he means. Well, he does, but his wording is off. During our own breakup he once said "I'm very mentally attracted to you, but I'm not physically attracted to you." Now, I know what he MEANT to say, but we also all know what that sounds like, right?

Let's just put it this way, if I didn't know him inside and out, he would have strung me along for much longer than the other girls.

So sometimes when I'm thinking about why I want to be skinny, I think about John. I want him to want me, so that I can tell him "Fuck NO!" and see the look on his face. He'd do the same thing.

I did say we're horrible people right?

Anyways, as for talking to him, he told me that he's gonna be breaking up with his bitch of a girlfriend soon. I'm not one to normally call girls names and such, but this bitch is the one who tried to tell John that it was me or her. He still choose me, and she still stuck around. By that time her bitch switch was stuck on though, ugggggh! Plus, except for her possible perfect size 2, she's actually not that good looking. Not his normal type....


Anyways, I should get going....

Wait one more thing! About the excercise stuff. I've actually been wanting to get out and work out, but I am faced with 2 problems at the moment. 1) My room is still a mess, and 2) I seem to have got a head cold, and since I can't breath through my nose and cough a lot, that would make any decent length off arobic excercise almost impossible.

I'll get back on that as soon as I can though.

Til later, stay strong guys,

~Wendy