I thought I was someone else, someone good

Didn't really keep up with counting calories today. =/

Got up and had Peach Oatmeal for breakfast, then went to work. I had working in the morning!

After work came home and had salad for lunch. Then I went to class.

After class I called up my friend John. It makes me sad that me and John live in different states now. We have a very complicated relationship to say the least, but he's one of the only people I really trust in the world.

We were talking about lots of things. He asked me what I gave up for lent (I never really take part, but he always asks). I told him sugar, which is kinda true. I mean I gave it up before lent, but what's a week or so give or take?

John's been talking a lot about getting in shape lately. I'm all for it, but he makes my lazy ass feel like shit sometimes. It's not intentional, but like a few weeks ago he was talking about how he was working on the elliptical for awhile because all the girls he was with were being fat asses and wouldn't get up to walk around. Things like that make me feel shitty, because I wouldn't get up to walk around either =(

Anyways, everything with me and John ends bittersweet, and this time was no different. John decided to cancel on some long standing plans we had for the next time I come home. Whatever, I know he's just going to use the time to be with his girlfriend instead, but really WHAT THE FUCK? I mean I live in a completely different state now, she lives down the street, I'm there for 2 nights, she's always fucking there! WHAT THE FUCK?

What ever! Anyways, got off the phone with him, and then did homework. After that I was feeling weird. It was really hard to describe. I wanted food but I didn't. I was CRAVING protein. So I hunted up the last carnation instant breakfast packet I had and made that. I drank some of it, but after half of it realized it wasn't sitting well and dumped the rest down the drain. At least it stopped the craving.

It didn't however stop me from feeling like shit. I kept feeling like I had bad acid reflux, except different. It honestly felt like the stomach acid was going through my veins. Seriously like acid in my blood. It was hard core weird.

Anyways, I got with one of my friends to the movies on fridays, and she had decided last week that we would go to taco bell before hand tonight. I planned on just getting 2 chicken soft tacos, but ended up with 2 baja chicken gordita's with raspberry ice tea (sugar!). I felt bad about it, but it did make me feel better! Plus I found out that my monthly visitor is here, which explains the craving for protein. It really does.

I'm always deficent in at least one thing every month and end up craving something to keep it in check. Once I needed sugar and craved ketchup for a week! I hate ketchup! Craving Protein means I need iron and so on....

Whatever, maybe just maybe this means I'll drop so weight for my weigh in, right???? Please??? Oh well, cooking tomorrow. Making salmon something or other. We'll have to see. Good night all!

~Wendy

P.S. Thank you to anyone that comments! Comments make me feel less alone and give me reason to keep posting. (In fact it's almost the only reason you got a post tonight!)