Ajhdsalhyfdufhdsajftrej?????!?!?!?!??!Do you remember me having a conversation about paczki? Remember that conversation about how horrible they fucking are?????
Well guess who just fucking ate one! Yup that's right, me!
My friend Erin is from the same area I am, and her mom overnighted her a box from home. 450 calories in this one huge fried piece of fat!!!!!
My total calorie count for the day today was only going to add up to 479 calories! I...I can't fucking handle that.
My plan was to just count that as dinner, and skip my planned meal then, but that is fucking bull shit! As soon as Erin left I started thinking about purging it.
I can't make up my mind if I should or not =/ It would literally only be the 2nd time purging, the last one was years ago, but I am afraid to even start that habit! But oh, have I been thinking about it.
I went and cleaned my toilette for fucks sake! SHIT!!!! My stomach is revolting against the fried food anyways! Without putting anything down my throat I almost tossed it! That's how upset my stomach is. So do I just go do it, make my stomach stop killing me???? But I need to be thin, and my head just kepts telling me, puking does not make you thin! Puking does not make you thin!
PUKING DOES NOT MAKE YOU THIN! HAVE FUCKING SELF CONTROL!!!!
What the hell do I do??????????
450 calories and 22 grams of fat! BAD FAT AT THAT!!!!!
What do I do??????
I really fucking hate myself right now =( I really really do....
~Wendy
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